04.02.12

Well recently... I've been thinking. I don't think I'm able to let you get any closer to me. We shouldn't venture from the friendship we have now. I know it sounds stupid and I know it's probably not one of the best decisions I'm going to make in life...

But it's what I'm choosing to do and I hope you respect that. You will probably never understand why I will act cold and frosty to you. You will be confused by my actions. I don't know if this is the right thing to do and I am so sorry. Well if you ever happen to come across this blog.. I hope you will understand why I chose to give up what we had.. Or to be honest.. What we never had...


Day 1 ♥
Well I've always had well some sort of connection towards you and I've been like naturally attracted to you. I don't know how to put it but it's like you get me.

I know I'm not the coolest of people. Definitely not the prettiest, nor the brightest nor the funniest. But I am "me." You could describe me as "adorkable." I laugh at the unfunniest jokes to exist in this universe. I am 19 and still a virgin. Yep. I just said the "V" word. And what? What are you going to do you name-calling-bitchy-sluts-who-judge-me?! Bite my knee caps?? Well I'm happy with myself and you can laugh at how traditional or frigid I am but well my legs are closed until I feel safe around that next person who I will lose it to. I have an endless appetite. Sometimes I even manage to convince myself that I must be a regenerated human cow with four stomachs.. otherwise how can I possible be hungry all the time?!

So yeah... Like I said before.. I'm really nothing special. The Average Joe of the girl species. So I kind of know that I probably won't have the most interesting love life ever... I'll be lucky if I ever get laid, let alone find a nice bloke to get married to. I doubt if I even paid for a male prostitute (in food AND money) that he would even want to sleep with me!

I'm also the type of girl who has a million crushes. And you were one of them. I think you're probably the only one who's been long enough to be classified as a proper serious crush.. a) My crush for you has lasted for about 7 months now? Uh-oh. Not cool. b) You aren't like a teacher.. (C'MON DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER HAD A SNEAKY LITTLE CRUSH FOR YOU'RE HOT TEACHER?! Not even the tiniest, smallest good feeling towards one?!) and c) Nor are you a celebrity who doesn't even know that I actually exist in this universe (Well if Taylor Lautner or Zac efron ever reads this, I LOVE YOU BOTH)

But I never thought that the crush I would have on you would ever last so long. I could have literally had a thought baby. Okay the thought baby would be born a bit too early... But maybe he/she was keen on getting to this universe okay?! Or maybe it was like in Twilight, where it was a vampire thought baby like Bella and Edward's baby which grew rapidly! Well anyway, I'm just trying to describe to you how it's been so so so long and I kind of feel regretful that I'm throwing away something that could be potentially good.

Well I believe in fate. If we were meant to happen then you would randomly come across this blog in a freak accident, realise I was talking about us, seize the opportunity and come to find me and confess your undying love for me on your knee, outside my front door, whilst playing I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston on an old school boom box. Oh and you would bring me some kind of food too. Well they always say that food is the way into a man's... No wait, scrap that, into MY heart.

But well clearly that's not going to happen but I still have like hope that one day someone will confess to me like that. Har-dee-har-dee-har.

Well I shall continue to explain tomorrow...

♥