05.02.12
Day 2 ♥
Well seeing as I'm a girl, anything seems to make me fall in love. Even the tiniest of bit of affection sets me off and I'm off on my happy love rocket. Unfortunately, my love was unrequited. You clearly had no intentions of liking me or saying that you didn't want anything more than just a friendship. And that is because you are a boy. You are a selfish, stuck-up-your-own-bum kind of prick. You know that a girl likes you and BAM you string them along like a puppet.
Us girls are sensitive creatures. We are all different in looks and personalities. Some of us have beautiful, sleek, luscious blonde hair, whilst some of us have gross, dead, frizzy, brown hair. Some of us have a beautiful curvy hourglass figure and then there's me with my lopsided pear shaped/column body that I despise seeing in the mirror! But even though our appearances aren't the same, inside we all want the same thing. We want a guy who sees beyond our boobs and butt. We want someone that makes us feel like a princess. Someone who makes us feel like we're the only one to exist, even amongst the 6 other billion people on this amazing world. Someone who makes even something like stamp collecting or like washing a toilet, the most amazing experience, timeless and ever so fun. It's not too much to ask for is it? We just want a bit of loving. Screw all the high maintenance, stuck up bitches. Us down-to-earth girls don't need expensive gifts or fancy posh restaurants. I would be quite happy to get a handmade ring or a trip to Nandos or McDonalds for a Big Mac Meal. (Haha I am quite easily amused food wise!)
But I really have no hope or trust in love at the moment. It makes me feel insecure and unsafe. I haven't really heard of great stories from my friend's personal experience and I just don't feel that real love exists around me in today's world. I would have loved to have lived in the earlier days where people actually took relationships seriously. It would be where the man actually falls in love with the woman and vice versa. But nowadays it's like just like to get "better reputations" or as the guys say "getting the muff/gash/ladiez". It's like there aren't like investments of real emotions or feelings into the relationships, it's like we've forgotten what real love is.
So no matter how nice you are to me, no matter how much you say you miss me or how you try to talk to me... I won't respond in the same way. I'm actually pretty scared about falling in love. I'm curious about what it feels like.. But the fear of rejection, fear of being hurt and the dear of anyone leaving me, scares me to the point where I want to run away and hide in a cave, away from civilisation.
It's pretty grim but I guess it's just me.. And although the future looks bleak for me, I still have hope that one day the sun will rise into my dark cloudy sky and lighten it up, and the right person for me will come and save me.. But for now, I'll keep dreaming and use my torch to look into the future...
♥
